


Amor Interruptus

by therentistoodamnhigh



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Cuddling, Demon Summoning, Fluff and Humor, Kissing, M/M, Worried Aziraphale (Good Omens), aziraphale frets a lot but that's pretty standard for him, i tried to minimize the angst as much as possible, so much sass from children, warlock befriends the them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:22:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21862906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therentistoodamnhigh/pseuds/therentistoodamnhigh
Summary: Crowley and Aziraphale are in the middle of dinner when Crowley disappears suddenly in a puff of smoke. Aziraphale is a little worried.Meanwhile, Warlock, Adam, and the rest of The Them have a conversation about Warlock's weird upbringing and demons.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 137
Collections: Oh Come All Ye Sinful! A Depraved Holiday Exchange 2019





	Amor Interruptus

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sweetravenking](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetravenking/gifts).



> This is a gift for paranormaljackal as part of the M25 & IT discord christmas gift exchange! Hope you like it <3
> 
> If you'd like to yell about good omens with me, I'm on tumblr at silverpracticality.tumblr.com

The only warning Aziraphale got was Crowley's irritated swearing.

They'd been dining at a cozy little family restaurant - while there was certainly something to be said for the quality of the food at places like the Ritz, in small establishments like this one he could taste the Love baked into it which honestly made up for any lacking quality. It was really quite heartwarming*, seeing people so passionate about food.

*[It was also heartwarming in a literal sense; if angels were a furnace, love was the coal. they practically ran on it and as a result it made their corporations radiate heat, which was very nice for Crowley. This was also true for demons but nobody would know; they aren't exactly the touchy feely kind, and despite Crowley’s snake-like nature he'd always been so full of love for Aziraphale that he never figured out that he ran just a smidge warmer than the average demon.]

It had been almost a year since Armageddon had been undone and their attempted executions (Crowley liked to call them attempted assassinations because it was more dramatic) and they hadn't heard so much as a whisper from heaven or hell. Crowley still liked to sit in secluded corners anyway because it let him have a view of the whole room and he'd be able to see someone coming. Little gestures to protect them like that made Aziraphale feel so loved and he'd feel so fond that he just couldn't help but kiss him passionately.

He'd restrained himself this evening though, and merely given Crowley a chaste peck on the cheek as they sat down. They were in public, after all.

Crowley still blushed and mumbled something deflective.

Crowley had been picking at something fried and Aziraphale was making his way through a hearty stew, talking idly about nothing while they occasionally fed each other bites of their meal.

Crowley had gone abruptly still, frowned, and said, with no small amount of irritation in his voice, "you've  _ got _ to be shitting me," before he blinked out of sight with a frisson of demonic energy and a puff of smoke.

Aziraphale blinked. "What in the world?" he murmured.

It took a moment to register what had happened, and when it did, the panic started to creep in.

Was Hell responsible for this? If they were, why were they taking him now, and would Heaven follow suit soon? How bad would it be when they got their hands on him? What were they doing to Crowley?

Aziraphale set down his cutlery with shaking hands and took a deep breath. He let it out slowly, telling himself to calm down. If Crowley was in trouble, Aziraphale needed to be level-headed. He took some more calming breaths, and soon he felt that he was calm enough to take action.

He laid down enough money on the table to pay for the meal, probably well in excess of what it actually cost but Aziraphale couldn’t be bothered; he had a demon to find.

He decided to check the Bentley first, in case Crowley had left under his own power to take the car somewhere. When he exited the restaurant, the Bentley was right where it had been left, no Crowley in sight.

Aziraphale fidgeted with his pinky ring. Aziraphale had absolutely nothing to go on as far as where Crowley had been taken and why, so it wouldn’t be a good idea to run around trying to search for him. No, the best course of action would be to try to call Crowley and leave a message if he didn’t answer, and then go back to the bookshop where Crowley would be able to find him once everything had been dealt with.

Having made up his mind, Aziraphale placed a quick blessing on the Bentley to keep it from being stolen and then took a cab back to the bookshop. 

The ride to the bookshop was long, and Aziraphale couldn’t stop fidgeting. He got there after a very long 20 minutes and hurried inside, the bell over the door jangling.

Crowley had left three different telephone numbers Aziraphale could call: one was his phone with an antique answering machine that stayed on his desk, another that lived at the entrance to his flat, and the third was his mobile, which Crowley generally kept on his person.

Aziraphale tried the first two, just in case Crowley was there by now. No luck; Aziraphale left messages on those machines, asking Crowley to please come by the bookshop, if he happened to get the message. He tried Crowley’s mobile next. No answer. He tried the number again. And again. And again. When it went to voicemail on the seventh try, Aziraphale left a message, trying to sound less frightened than he felt.

Aziraphale set his phone in its receiver, feeling terribly small and useless. As much as he hated it, there was nothing he could do. All he could do was wait there at the bookshop and pray that Crowley was alright. He set a record playing on the gramophone, made a cup of hot chocolate, and settled in to wait next to the phone.

**Tadfield, Earlier That Day**

Warlock Dowling was having a very interesting day, far more interesting than he would have if he’d stayed with his parents in the cottage they were renting for summer vacation. In fact, earlier that week his parents had actually encouraged him to go out and play with the kids they saw wandering around the village. Warlock suspected this was because his mom and dad wanted him out of the house so they could have sex. Warlock didn’t care too much anyway, they were pretty boring.

The first day there, Warlock met Adam, Brian, Pepper, and Wensleydale. He was folded into their group with relative ease, and they were much more interesting than the prissy rich kids he hung out with. Warlock had gotten a tour of Tadfield and then proceeded to get roped into all sorts of games and shenanigans.

Today, a couple days into his vacation, he’d offhandedly mentioned the nanny he’d had growing up, which devolved into Warlock telling a bunch of stories about his nanny and how weird she was while Dog jumped about between them.

“Yeah, all the lullabies she sang were about murder and ruling the world and crushing my enemies beneath my feet,” Warlock was saying, sitting in the hideout the Them had made. “I never questioned it but now that I think about it, it was really weird.”

“That’s really weird,” Brian agreed.

“Do you think she was a witch?” Pepper asked.

“I dunno,” Warlock said.

“Did she have a pointy hat?” Wensleydale asked.

“No, but she did wear sunglasses all the time, even indoors at night.”

“That _ is _ weird,” Adam said. “Did she have funny eyes?”

“She did, actually!” Warlock said, sitting up straighter. “They were yellow and had vertical pupils like a snake! My parents thought I was crazy when I told them, but I  _ know _ her eyes were yellow!”

“I don’t think witches have yellow eyes,” Pepper said.

“Maybe she was a demon!” Adam suggested, his eyes bright.

“A demon?” Warlock said, skeptical.

“Demons are evil,” Brian mused. “It would make sense that she was a demon if she was talking about evil stuff.

“I’m not sure demons are real, Brian,” Wensleydale said.

“Do you not remember last summer at all, Wensleydale?” Pepper said. “Did you forget those people that literally came up through the ground?”

“Oh yeah, that’s right,” Wensleydale said. “It’s all a bit jumbled in my head, you know.”

Warlock had never ever considered the fact that maybe his nanny hadn’t been human at all. Now that he was thinking about it, it would explain a few things, like the mysteriously repaired broken vases, the dark decorations in his bedroom, the strange lullabies, the fact that she wore only black and red, all sorts of things.

“Yeah, it’s definitely possible, she could’ve been a demon,” Warlock said

“I don’t know much about demons,” Pepper said. “Does anybody know about demons?

“Demons are occult, right?” Brian said.

“Anathema knows about the occult, she said so when I met her last year,” Adam said.

“D’you think we could ask Anathema about demons?” Pepper asked.

“Good idea Pepper, let’s go see Anathema,” Adam decided.

They all stood up and started heading over to Anathema’s cottage. On the way there, Warlock decided to ask a question.

“You guys keep mentioning something that happened last year, what was it?”

“Oh, we stopped Armageddon from happening, just after my birthday,” Adam said casually.

“What?”

“Yeah, I was the antichrist and I was supposed to destroy everything, but I like having everything around, so I told Death to bugger off, and then Satan was mad that Armageddon wasn’t happening so I told him he wasn’t my dad, which made him go away,” Adam explained. “There’s a lot more that happened, but that’s the basics.”

“I don’t believe you,” Warlock said.

“It’s true!” Wensleydale insisted. “War and Famine and Pollution were there and everything!”

“Satan was big and red and ugly,” Pepper added. Dog barked, as if agreeing with her.

“Adam made him turn into dust, it’s true,” Brian said.

Yesterday they had discovered that Adam and Warlock shared a birthday, so just after his birthday would coincide with that trip to the desert and that one weird guy that smelled like poo.

“Huh, weird,” Warlock said, lacking anything else to say..

After a while they reached Anathema’s cottage, and it was a woman who answered when they knocked.

“Hey kids, what’s up? Who’s your new friend?”

“This is Warlock, he’s from America like you,” Adam said.

“Oh, cool! Hi Warlock, I’m Anathema,” the woman introduced, sticking out her hand.

Warlock shook it. “Hi.”

“Come on in guys,” she said, standing aside so they could file in. “So, what brings you guys over here?”

“Do you know about demons?” Adam asked.

“Uhm, I’ve studied them, yeah. What do you wanna know?”

“We think that Warlock’s nanny from when he was younger was a demon, and we wanna know more about them,” Adam said.

“Alright, I can work with that, let me see what I’ve got,” Anathema said, rubbing her hands together.

Anathema ended up having about five books on demons, and they went over all the interesting bits.

“Oooh, we should summon a demon!” Warlock said, when the topic came up. “It’ll be just like in the movies!

“That’s brilliant!” Adam said. “Anathema, how do we summon a demon?”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Anathema said.

“Aw c’mon, please? You could help us do it,” said Warlock.

Anathema bit her lip, considering. “Alright, but we’re doing it my way:  _ safely _ .”

Warlock and the Them cheered. 

Anathema taught them about how it worked, and how to be safe doing it.

“Alright, let’s do this in the living room,” she said. “Can you guys help me push the furniture out of the way?”

They chattered excitedly as they moved furniture and watched Anathema draw all the symbols and light the candles and lay out the salt circle.

“Alright, everyone ready?” After receiving a round of nodding, Anathema opened the book she was holding and flipped to the right page. “Alright, let’s begin.”

Crowley had been having a very nice date with Aziraphale, but then some asshole just _ had _ to go and summon him. It had been ages since he’d been summoned last, but Crowley had had  _ plans _ for that evening, plans that included buggering his angel silly. He didn’t even have the chance to tell Aziraphale what was going on when he felt his essence and corporation being tugged inexorably toward where the summoning was happening.

The transition pressed the air out of his lungs, and when he came through the other side he immediately began shouting, ignoring the uncomfortable sensation of his magic being suppressed.

“Who the heaven do you think you are?! I was in the middle of a date, and-” Here he noticed Adam Young’s familiar face, the faces of his friends, and Anathema, who was holding a book and looking appropriately witchy. He stopped shouting and switched to a more casual tone. “Hey kid, what’s up?”

“Hi Crowley,” Adam said. “We were sort of hoping for a real demon.”

“Wh- what do mean, I  _ am _ a real demon! You can’t get any more demon-y than me!” Crowley cried.

“No offense, Crowley, but you’re not scary at all,” Adam said.

“Yeah, your angel friend is scarier than you,” Pepper agreed.

“Nanny?!” Warlock blurted.

Crowley’s eyes widened behind his glasses. Shit, he’d wanted to get back in touch with Warlock eventually, but not when he was all off-kilter like this. Time to improvise.

“Oh, hey Warlock, how’s it going?” Crowley said too casually.

“Crowley was your nanny?” Adam said, sounding intrigued.

“I mean- I think so? The hair’s the same color,” Warlock said. “I’d have to see his eyes to be sure.”

Crowley groaned. “This isn’t how I wanted this to go,” he lamented. He slid his glasses down his nose anyway, looking at Warlock over the top of them.

“Holy shit, you  _ are _ Nanny,” Warlock breathed in awe.

“Why were you Warlock’s nanny, Crowley?” Adam asked.

“Alright,  _ fine _ . I was planning on doing this eventually anyway, so I guess I can do it now,” Crowley said, pushing his glasses back up. “Did you tell him about the whole Armageddon thingy?”

He received a chorus of affirmatives. 

Crowley rubbed his hands together and began to explain. “Alright, so on your birthday eleven years ago, twelve now I guess, I handed over the Antichrist to a bunch of Satanic nuns. What was  _ supposed _ to happen was that the Dowlings were meant to get the antichrist, and then I was meant to help oversee his upbringing, make sure he grew up evil or some bollocks like that. What  _ actually _ happened was that the Youngs were there too, which messed everything up, and the antichrist got handed over to the Youngs instead, but I didn’t know that at the time. Also, I didn’t really  _ want _ the world to end! So, under the impression that the antichrist was with the Dowlings, I got an angel friend who also didn’t want to world to end to be there raising him too, so that the good influences balanced out the bad ones.”

“Wait,” Warlock said. “If there were three babies there, and two of them are here, where’s the third one?”

“Greasy Johnson,” Adam said. “He leads the other gang of kids in Tadfield. He’s got the same birthday as us.”

“Oh, ok,” Warlock said.

“What’s wrong, Warlock?” Adam said. “You look sad.”

“Oh, just.” Warlock rubbed his arm. “So, you were my nanny because you had to be?”

“I was,” Crowley confirmed.

“Did you like me?”

Oh crap, Crowley had to talk about his  _ feelings _ . “I mean, yeah, you were a proper little terror to your parents, it was hard not to like you. Even though you did get your grubby little fingers all over my skirts all the time.” Crowley refused to acknowledge the heat rising to his face. This was so embarrassing. 

“Oh, that’s alright then,” Warlock said, looking less downcast than he had before.

Crowley folded his arms and looked downwards to appear casual, only to remember why he was here.

“Why are you kids summoning demons, anyway?” He rounded on Anathema. “Why are you letting them summon demons?”

“We were curious,” Pepper shrugged.

“I’m the one doing the summoning, thank you very much,” Anathema said. “I’m making sure it’s being done safely.”

“Don’t do it again,” Crowley warned, “if anyone other than me had popped up you guys might’ve gotten into serious trouble, and I don’t really like having to rescue people from their own stupidity.”

“But we want to know about demons,” Wensleydale protested.

“We want to know if you can do anything really cool,” Brian said.

Crowley grumbled.

“Hey, look at it this way,” Anathema said, “if you answer their questions they won’t do this again.”

“Alright,  _ fine _ , I guess I can answer some questions,” Crowley conceded.

The kids cheered with varying levels of enthusiasm.

“I’ve got some sandwiches in case you kids want some,” Anathema said, gesturing in the direction of the kitchen.

Some of the kids agreed to sandwiches and followed after Anathema. Crowley made to follow as well, only to run headfirst into barrier of the summoning circle. He swore loudly, rubbing at his forehead.

“I forgot about that part,” Crowley hissed. “I always forget about the trap, you’d think I’d know better by now.” When nobody moved, he gestured down at the floor. “Well don’t just stand there, let me out of here!”

“How do we do that?” Adam asked.

“Just smudge up the symbols or something!”

In short order, Crowley was set free of the summoning circle. Everyone got settled around the kitchen table, and Crowley got bombarded by questions.

Crowley was in the middle of bitching about Hell’s bureaucracy when he glanced at the clock to see that 45 minutes had passed.

“Fuck, Aziraphale!” Crowley blurted, standing up.

“What?”

“I was in the middle of dinner with Aziraphale when you summoned me - which I’m still mad about by the way! - and I didn’t have time to warn him or anything, shit, I’ve got to get back to him!”

Crowley patted his pockets, making sure he had everything, and then with a snap he was in the Bentley, a chorus of “Goodbye Crowley”s following him.

The tires squealed as he pulled into road, murmuring and apology to the Bentley. In a record six and a half minutes, he was pulling to a hard stop in front of the bookshop.

“Aziraphale!” He cried, bursting through the door.

“Crowley!” came Aziraphale’s voice, sounding relieved. Aziraphale rounded a bookshelf, looking harried and rumpled, and they gravitated towards each other like magnets, wrapping each other in a tight hug.

“Oh, thank goodness you’re alright, Crowley,” Aziraphale said, sounding like he was on the verge of tears.

“I’m alright, everything’s okay, I’m so sorry for scaring you, angel,” Crowley said, pressing kisses to whatever part of Aziraphale he could reach and rubbing his back.

They continued to hold each other, and after several minutes Aziraphale drew back to kiss Crowley tenderly on the lips.

“Don’t scare me like that, Crowley,” Aziraphale whispered. “I thought Hell had gotten hold of you.”

“It was just Adam Young and his friends having a bit of fun,” Crowley reassured him. “They had questions and I just lost track of time. I’m not leaving you, not ever.”

Aziraphale let out a big sigh, resting his head on Crowley’s shoulder, and Crowley could feel the way tension left his angel’s shoulders. “Good, I don’t think I could bear it without you.” 

“Let me make it up to you,” Crowley said, resting his cheek on Aziraphale’s fluffy white hair. “I bought one of those variety boxes of chocolates you like, and I’ll feed it to you while we cuddle in bed upstairs, hmm? How does that sound?”

Aziraphale lifted his head and kissed Crowley’s cheek. “That sounds wonderful, my dear. Lead the way, my love.”

Crowley kissed him one more time before he withdrew from Aziraphale’s embrace. He twined his fingers with his angel’s, rubbing the back of his hand with his thumb. He led the way up to Aziraphale’s cozy bedroom, where they spent the evening cuddled up flush next to each other, bickering good-naturedly and giggling softly, eventually falling asleep wrapped up in each other.

**Author's Note:**

> i wanted to do a pun on coitus interruptus except like, date night interruptus. pls pardon the latin, i used google


End file.
